<Thank you for the life, lord,
But I resent the poor spelling skills.
The plot holes,
The never ending rising action,
The inappropriate dialogue,
The lack of imagery.
Thank you for the life god,
But you need to work on your writing skills>

I'm photogenic, the admissions lady thought so.
I think it's a concept other people need to define, because what I think is good on me seems to be only understood by me
but if i'm to like myself, why should I listen to other people.
Because they matter more than you, they just do
They always will.
Can't just do what you want, that would be pointless, what you want is going to have to intertwine and compliment what everyone else wants.
That's the only way to get people to like you, to get your way, to do what you want.
Make sure everyone thinks it's what they want too.
It's fine, I'm photogenic and likable
I think I said that.  They said, 'what else would make you a good doctor' after i gave my long rehearsed speech to that answer.  I said "I'm likable and make people comfortable."  I hope that wasn't a lie.  I certainly believed it in that moment.

I can't react now because I was dissappointed in them.  I can't feel like they were impressed by me because I didn't feel impresesd by them.  It should be mutual.  I felt great immediately after.  

Then the cold rain hit my face and I mellowed, my heartbeat slowed, my feet started to ache from the stupid mary janes, and i got to my car, took out my laptop and stayed there for an hour wondering what I should do next.  No one was free for lunch.

Then I wasn't free for lunch.  It happens.  Then you fall into a vague sea of bubbles.  Light headedness leads to headaches which last days and won't go away even after the best nap one could ever have in the history of naps.  I dreamed of maps, no joke, I dreamed I was in my gold map sailing about in a gold ocean, the sun set and never sunk.  I was in my own personal arc, with a kaleidoscope tha wasn't meantto be a kaleidoscope.  I saw sea monsters in it.  Men with one large foot food in place of legs, with hands in place of heads, serpents that became dragons and other surreal things.

Not true.  I dreamed he was there too.

Thinking about the future is an unfortunate task, one that if i avoid for too long will cause the loss of my future.  Those eyes became more and more beautiful in my memory as days passed but I forgot the voice.

I feel so much.

I'm so apathetic.  It's a defence mechanism.

This is all a defence mechanism.

The look of shock on your face
the day I show up at your door
- to take in your grace,
to linger, admire your 
beautiful insights -
leaves me anticipating
the stupor and doubt.
Your cheeks ruminating
pucker in and swell out
as you let me in. 

Inside, let's open the folds
Find that thought confectory
where you keep and hold
the empty vestibules of memory
that I'll fall into.
There, render me through
- with care, with love -
with watercolour hues
until I become one of
your beautiful insights.